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February 13, 2009 § 24 Comments

Thankyouthankyou– the emails, calls & comments from friends, family & my special blogging buddies has been overwhelming & so appreciated. Particularly because a few days prior I became terribly antisocial, broke some plans & didn’t want to talk on the phone much.

I’m not sure I will share too many details regarding this leg of Endo Hell. I will say though, it is proving to be a bit harder than I had anticipated both physically & emotionally, but I accept that there really was no other choice & so far don’t regret it.

I am a lucky girl beyond words. So thankful that I did not have to worry one second about my Muffin because 2 of our dearest friends were with him. Thankful that the staff at the hospital were {& always have been} amazingly kind. Thankful that I have doctors who I feel 100% confident in & who know me; who have always treated me with respect & understood the emotional implications of every decision, procedure, drug & surgery these past years.

I am thankful that the chance of ovarian cancer is truly gone.

that this decision may finally put an end to some of the pain.

to have friends & family who love me.

& {most of all} to have Hans & Muffin.

Overall as much as this sucks, as sad as I feel, as much as I want to change this, as frightened as I am of how my body will be different, as annoying as it is that endometriosis & tumors have been a constant thorn in my side, I know that I am lucky. I probably don’t sound too convincing at the moment but…I guess I am allowed a grace period?

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§ 24 Responses to *

  • Christine says:

    ((((HUGS))))
    You definitely get a grace period! This is the mourning period… you have to get through that in order to feel grateful. At least, that’s my experience.

    Let yourself feel what you feel.

    So happy to see a post – I’ve been thinking of you this week!

  • beckarecka says:

    It is so good to see you post. I’ve thought of you so much this week and hoped you were doing okay–both emotionally & physically. When I was going through my own mourning period, my mom gave me a book called “tear soup” which is sort of a children’s book about grief. I sobbed through the whole thing again and again….I found it a great way to release some of the emotion with the each page of the book. You are absolutely allowed a grace period. This is an important stage, too. Blessings to you.

  • kirie says:

    I’ve been thinking of you this week and hoping you were healing well. I think part of that is taking the time to feel the various layers of loss that come with this sort of surgery. At the same time, you are looking ahead to less pain and grief and worry, and that is healthy, too.
    Feel all of it–you’re entitled to it!
    I think it’s wonderful that you are also feeling the many blessings of the important people in your life. I don’t know you in person, but I do know from your writing that you are a brave and good woman. Be well.

    xo Kirie

  • Michelle says:

    I understand the antisocial thing during this time. Thinking of you.

  • Carissa says:

    Oh my gosh I have been thinking about you and wondering how you are, so good to hear from you (and that everyone is good). You so get a grace period and I agree with all of the other comments before mine. Allow yourself to go through what you need to and enjoy time with all of those who love you!

  • dana says:

    You absolutely get a grace period and remember it can be as long as you need it to be. There are n0 rules when it comes to dealing with and accepting all of the pain, disappointment, loss etc. Take.Your.Time. Rest and be well. Thinking of you across the pond :)

  • klarobinson215 says:

    Take care my dear – such decisions are very tough but doing what is best for you is all that matters. Rest, enjoy being pampered (which I’m sure you are right now :) ) and eat lots of cookies – they have been proven to make people feel better!
    HUGS!

  • maimoona says:

    I am glad to see your update. I have been thinking about you quite a lot. Yes, you are emotionally and physically exhausted and hence you are allowed to pour out your heart to your friends. This is a healing period for you and those are always hard. It is also hard to emotionally reconcile with the health problems, but since now surgery is out of the way, we pray that you get out of the blues soon.
    With blessing
    Maimoona

  • frumiousb says:

    Take care, take your time. Thinking of you.

  • gail says:

    I clicked onto 3continentfamily with such relief to see you had posted! It’s a healthy sign that you are processing deliberately and with full awareness. There’s no way to the other side but through and you WILL get through. I hope you will allow yourself every bit of self nurturance that you need, along with accepting the loving support of your peeps. You are so brave and beautiful my friend and you will come to the other side of this even more so. I’m thankful this very large step is now behind you. My thoughts are with you each day.

    I couldn’t help but tear up reading the posts here. You Are Loved Kerry Berryxoxooxoxo

  • HabeshaChild says:

    You absolutely get a grace period!
    So glad to see you posting.
    Please know I am sending many (((hugs))) and loads of good juju your way.

    xoxoxo

  • Lee says:

    awh sweetness. i was so glad to see your post.
    i hope you felt the happy tingles from all the good vibes i sent.
    let healing begin. in all forms.
    xoxo

  • Kelli says:

    So happy to see your post. You are most definitely allowed a grace period…as long as you need. Thinking of you sending good vibes your way!

  • Laura says:

    Hun, you’re allowed more than a grace period. I’m so glad that your surgery went well and you’re safe. I hope that your recovery goes well. I’m here if you ever need to talk. xoxo

  • hotpickles says:

    So glad to hear from you! I’ve been checking daily hoping to find you back online, and thinking of you often! Take the time you need and be kind to yourself… you certainly deserve it!

  • grmountainwoman says:

    Kerryanne,

    You have always been a fighter and an optimistic person — these will carry you through to a speedy recovery. Best wishes to you and Hans and your little Muffin.

    Spring is just around the corner, a time for renewal, and a time to take your little guy exploring!

  • Jenna says:

    So glad to see you’re back. We’ve been thinking about you! I’m sure this is a crazy difficult time now, so take time to take care of YOU! Hugs to you!

  • Julie says:

    Sending good thoughts your way. It was great to hear from you, and yes, you are definitely allowed a grace period. Take all the time you need…

  • zenmomma says:

    {{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}

  • Gayla says:

    I am so glad the surgery went well and that you are ok.

    You are in my thoughts.

    Gayla

  • Katherine says:

    So glad you made it through OK and of course, a grace period is certainly allowed. Plus I imagine it will come and go, as all emotions do.

    Get some rest and relax if you can. I have been thinking of you!

  • Chandra says:

    So happy you are back and the surgery went well. Yes you’re allowed a very long grace period! We all need time to adjust to major changes in our lives. Take your time. *hugs*

  • Kelly says:

    It was so great to hear from you. I have been thinking about you. And of course, you are allowed a grace period – for as long as you need it!

  • Joyce and Jeff says:

    Hurrah you are back! So relieved and happy that you are on the other side of this surgery. Heal fast and love to all three of you!!

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